Doubt and Commitment on the Ashtanga Mysore Path
We have recently completed our first month of the Ashtanga Mysore program at Yoga Path Palm Beach! Did you make it in this month? How’s your practice going? The first month of Ashtanga Mysore self-practice method is a challenging, exhilarating, shifting, humbling, revealing, and often confusing battle against our desire to just stay in bed. It bonks up against your routines, patterns and comfort zones - shoving at your samskaras. If you made it this far into the discipline, you may be facing a series of doubts. Is this really my practice? Do I really want to commit to this approach? Am I benefiting? Am I enjoying my yoga practice? Am I really going to be an Ashtangi for the rest. of. my. life? You are not alone. If you continue with the practice, these doubts will arise again and again - this is a good thing! From personal experiences in my own practice and as an instructor, observing the journey that so many students have traveled, I have found there to be certain time markers that ask us to reinvestigate our intentions, motivations, and commitment. That one month point is the first. This is one of the reasons that many shalas require a one month commitment to begin the practice. One month of committed practice will give you a solid understanding of the process and you will begin to experience what is possible, you will also get a glimpse of the obstacles and resistances you face. It will either look like something you are just not interested in or it will look like a mountain you are eager to climb. I have seen this questioning phase come up again around either three or six months, and then also at one year. Beyond that, it depends on the practitioner, but it does arise, again and again. A re-examining is essential. I don’t know who first said it, but I have heard a saying “anyone can do ashtanga, but it’s not for everyone.” A sort of deviation of the Guruji (Sri. K. Pattabhi Jois) quote “anyone can do yoga, except lazy person” The truth is that anyone is capable of doing this practice, but not everyone chooses to. Ashtanga asks a lot of you, the student. It asks for your discipline and commitment, your surrender to process, your trust in a teacher, your humility and willingness to learn. What does that word mean - “commitment”? It is not a choice you make once and it is done. In your yoga practice just as in any relationship, commitment is a constant evaluating - Is this good for me? Is it right for me? Has something changed from when I first chose this path? If you examine your doubts and seek to answer your inner questions and still come to the conclusion that: Yes! You want to continue this journey, then your relationship to your practice deepens, your motivations strengthen, discipline comes more easily, and you are again inspired. If you decide this practice is not working for you, move on, no biggie - you can always come back (wink wink) I sincerely believe that there is a yoga for everyone and it is up to the student to discover it. The student seeks the teacher/practice - not the other way around. I also happen to sincerely believe in the transformative power of this approach! So if the time is right, and this is your practice you will know it. As hard as it is, as scary as it is, as exhausting as it is - you will overcome your doubts and you will again set your alarm for 5:30am. You will drink your coffee in the dark, join the rest of the zombies breathing into the silence. You will sweat and cry and finally find your hands in marichyasana d or finally come up to stand from back bend, or finally land your karandavasana, or you will do none of those and still feel pretty damn amazing, though not sure why. You will be relieved when you lie down into final rest and you will do it all again tomorrow. The self-practice method will ask a lot from you but it will provide so much in return, if you are willing to stay. Stay. Stay with the breath. Stay in the process. Stay on the path.
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