On the Self:
Close your eyes. Tune in to the breath. The breath draws awareness and attention that is directed outside of the self, to our inner spaces. As you inhale bring awareness into the body. Acknowledge any aches or pains, tightness, resistance, soreness, fatigue. Without judgment, observe how the body is feeling today. Then realize that if you can observe the sensations of the body then you are not that. You are not the body. Allow the inhale to draw your awareness deeper, into the movements of the mind. It is the nature of the mind to move, to jump around, to present one thought, then another, then another. Do not hate the mind, this is its nature. Do not fight it. Imagine the mind like the screen at the beginning of Star Wars movies, expansive space. And thoughts are the words that appear on the screen, big at first, but gradually fading into the background. Allow the screen to move into the darkness of space. Don’t attach to any thought. It comes. And it goes. Your awareness remains on the breath. And then realize that if you can sit in witness to the movements of the mind then you are not that. You are not the mind. You are something beyond the mind, observing. Deeper now, with the breath, becoming aware of your emotional state, your mood. Acknowledge what is sitting in your heart space. Without judgement, without needing to tell a story about it, acknowledge it, name it. If you can observe your emotions then you are not them. You are not your emotions. You are something beyond them. The you that is witness is beyond body, beyond mind, beyond emotions and is unaffected by the fluctuations there. The you that is witness sits in a steady peace, unaffected by fluctuations in environment, sensations in the body, thoughts, emotions, everything. This is the self that yoga aims to guide you to. This self - the atman - the purest form of your divine nature, is the destination of the path that is your practice.
So how does an asana practice bring us there - to that peaceful steady contentment? The postures we perform on the mat have many purposes including building strength and flexibility in the body, cleansing the internal organs and nervous system, revealing our deeply ingrained patterns of behavior and thought so we can make discriminate choices and change, and clearing away debris in our self-perception to expose our true nature. Sounds kinda mystical, doesn’t it? It’s actually quite simple, even happens without our trying. But like many things of value, it takes time and consistency to develop.
Each time we put ourselves into a posture, our tendencies arise. If it is a posture we are good at or enjoy, we are pleased with ourselves. We want to do it again. We want others to see us doing it. We develop a story about the pose, and maybe an attachment. When we are faced with a pose we dislike, find difficult or even - gasp! painful! - we tell a different story, one perhaps about how our arms are too long, or that old injury from high school is making it impossible. We try to sneak out of the pose early, dread it coming up again next class and grumble our way through each time it does. Then there are poses that really challenge us, they bring us to our darkness and our fear, make us angry or sad, display loudly our harmful inner voice. Poses can make us hate our practice, hate our teacher, question why the heck are we doing this when we could be having a glass of wine with friends right now. The yoga brings all of this to you on your mat and asks you to stay. Find equanimity. No one will applaud you. You cannot escape. You will have to do it again. Just stay in this pose breathing steadily. Notice your thoughts, notice your patterns, just stay and breath. Stay here in this pose you love with the same state of mind as you do in the pose you hate. Look at the anger that arises. Do you need it? Is it benefiting you? Can you let it pass through you and move on? Can you be angry and still be in the pose, breathing steadily? That is yoga. Anger will come, sadness will come, fear definitely will come, many thoughts, stories, beliefs will come. Can you observe them, assess them, let them move through you without judgement, without attachment? Each time, they will have less power. They will always arise but they will not control you. Each intense moment on the mat develops an inner strength, builds the throne upon which that inner witness sits, comfortable and at peace. While you sweat and strain and agonize on the mat, the witness observes and gains strength. When you find yourself challenged off the mat, that space is still available. The space of the true self is calm steadiness, giving space before reaction, space to stay and breath, to notice sensation, thought and emotion. Your yoga asana practice cultivates the space to get past impulsive reaction based on sensory input and patterns. You can respond with awareness from a place of calm assessment and choice about what is the most benefit to you and those around you. If you can find steadiness of mind will balancing on one leg, the other leg thrown around behind your head, gaze directed towards infinity, a smile on your face, you can do anything.
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