Is There Wisdom In "Want"?
I recently moved from Miami Beach to Philadelphia and have been teaching a entirely new group of students since May. It has been fascinating to me and also a challenge to adjust to the new yoga culture of this group. Just like every one person has had their own experiences with the practice, every community develops a relationship with the practice based on their common experiences with environment, teachers, each other etc. I am finding that I am having to adjust my teaching style and also having to access a different set personal experiences in order to connect. In some ways it reminds me that as a teacher, I am continuously learning, but also reminds me that I do actually have many experiences to draw from. In particular, I have noticed a certain trend in my students recently. I find that many students are questioning the practice - "Why am I pushing my body this hard?", "Is it really important that I do it this way as opposed to that?", "I have been doing this practice for years, why is nothing changing?" My answers are usually related to the truth that I whole-heartedly believe in this practice! I have passed through injury, doubt, physical extremes, emotional and mental extremes, etc and have made it, somehow, to the other side and realized that there is an amazing innate wisdom in the Ashtanga Yoga practice that I now cannot deny. I believe that the practice itself, in its scientific, purposeful arrangement and yes, rules, knows what to do. And if us mere humans, ignorant of any power beyond what we can see, taste, and touch, could just surrender to its plan, we will learn what it is all for. We will reach the other side of this current challenge and, having overcome it, see its purpose and begin to trust. But we have to begin. We have to start the journey with trust and surrender and allow the practice to prove itself. In this a teacher we can trust is important. As a teacher I choose to assume that if you are in my class you are interested in being taught. If you are choosing to be taught by me, I am committed to sharing everything that I have come to understand about this practice. If I share information with you, it is something that comes from the practice itself as it was taught to me. I will never give you information that is based on opinion without qualifying it as such. I share the practice as I have experienced it because it works, it transforms, it is powerful. In my recent experiences as a teacher, I am reminded of an article I read while taking teacher training courses almost ten years ago. This was written by one of my first Ashtanga teachers, Paul Dallaghan of Centered Yoga and Yoga Thailand, Ko Samui. Paul, if you catch this blog, thank you for these words that meant something significant to me once and now again bring meaning to my practice and I hope it is ok that I reproduce them here:
"Doing What My Body Wants"?
in other words, asana and pranayama practice dictated by your mood
Paul Dallaghan
A line often mentioned to me by students about their practice is that "I did as my body felt like today". I believe it is good to listen to the body. To be able to do so indicates a highly developed inner sense. And if being done properly then one must have achieved certain levels in yoga. At a basic level, I would say when the body is fatigued, when there is fever, then this is a time to understand this and adjust your practice. What I have seen is students ignoring all signs that tell them practice today should not be done and more commonly, students using any condition to change or back out of practice.
Yoga is a powerful practice. It is byond us, higher than us. This is precisely the reason why it has been given to us and why we do it. Our nature is covered up by many layers. Our thoughts process and ability to comprehend things is thus clouded. From ancient times, the practice of yoga has been going on, being taught by those who experienced it first hand. It is a higher path, passed on to us to help clean us up and pull us out of this mess of confusion. At its base are high scientific principles. It is built on truth. We all have this within us and need this system to help unearth it.
It therefore is self-defeating to say "I did what my body wants today". Such an approach keeps one in the same rut, going around in circles without any hope of growth. There my be superficial results such as feeling better in the body. But this is what exercise is for. It is also ego driven to think that "I" can solve this and go against what those wiser than us have passed on to us. Most importantly though it is that this approach is usually emotionally driven. Thus it is based on whim, your mood of the day or moment. It is fair if one approached their practice like a scientist, following a course for a period of time, seeing its effect and seeing what needs to be changed or done next. But when we go with inner whims each day we unfortunately achieve nothing.
In the Yoga Sutras, the authoritative text on yoga, Patanjali points out the obstacles that come in the way of your practice (I.30). They are physical ailment, lethargy, unreasonable doubt, carelessness, laziness, undisciplined senses, imaginations, inability to reach higher experiences, and non-retention of the achieved experiences. The whimsical practice of how I feel falls right in there. To conquer them Patanjali advises the students to practice sincerely and with a focused mind. Not just in the moment but over time. A one-pointed practice done from the heart. A practice the teacher has given you. he acknowledges these obstacles will arise and we must practice to overcome them. Even when injured apply this intelligence. Perhaps a period of rest is necessary. Then modification in practice while following the approach given. Over a period of time this grows and the physical ailment is conquered. The other obstacles aren't given space to sprout up and affect us even more.
It is the nature of the mind to rebel and lead us astray. This is normal. We should acknowledge it. And then we should remember it when these mental moments come. If I am weak or fevery then to limit or stop my practice is justifiable. When not then it is of most benefit to follow the teacher's instructions and just practice. Typically the mind wants much variation and is continually distracted. The state of yoga is a calm, undistracted mental state, ultimately beyond mind. More importantly though, as it is unchartered territory for the students, and the effects are very subtle, there is typically a complete lack of understanding of real inner process. Only towards the end of a "clearing" is it then understood. Changing or stopping in the middle is like pulling the cake out of the oven, not ready and inedible. Put it back and let it finish the process. This is also why a competent and experienced teacher is needed. Ant not just that, but that they have spent time with a teacher who themself is connected to the vast teachings and rich lineage of this higher art and science.
So the practice of yoga focuses and calms the mind. in essence it builds tremendous mental strength. This can only be achieved when one follows the prescribed practice, daily. If we pull back and look out over, say, a twenty-year period we will find much variation in practice. Yet, we will see this it has come from progression. A certain practice was followed, a stage achieved, the next step moved on to, and so on. But we get stuck in the intermediate and suffer from this impatience and weakness of mind.
Simply, the truest and greatest benefit comes from following the teacher-given practice each day. After a while a barrier is crossed and strength of mind is gained. Through experience one learns the results. When done on one's whim, constantly changing it around because "I feel this or that" will leave the student at ground zero going around in circles. So fight the urge to play around. Stick to your practice and watch the mind develop, the heart open. Even when doing the same system for so many months in a row the experience within is constantly changing. To benefit from yoga trust in the the practices and advice of those higher than us who have achieved its end.
