Another Word

In yoga we often talk about integration.  In fact it can be considered to be the very definition of "yoga".  Integrate.  Integral.  Integration.  Integrate strength and flexibility.  Integrate the mind with the body.  The breath with movement.  Energetic principles with physical expression.  Tonight in a workshop I am attending a derivative to the word was used in a different context "integrity".  Integrity as a virtue, or as defined below "adherence to moral principles; honest"  I know this word, have a working understanding of it.  I have used it in a sentence.  But how does this definition relate to the others, the yogic use that refers to unity and wholeness, harmony?  

 

World English Dictionary

integrity  (ɪnˈtɛɡrɪtɪ)
— n
1.	adherence to moral principles; honesty
2.	the quality of being unimpaired; soundness
3.	unity; wholeness
On the one hand "integrity" is tangible, even physical. The integrity of an architectural structure is dependent on the parts working together for a complete whole, take away a support beam, an integral piece, and the structure may not stand or at least its stability is compromised.  No longer a complete whole for its intent and purpose, it no longer has integrity.  In yoga we aim to, among other things, integrate the mind body and spirit - or more accurately we aim to experience the integration that already is there.  (Aha!  As I write that I think I see a link that I was missing!)  In developing awareness of the true nature of the self - that there is innate integration among the mind body spirit - perhaps we are settling into an honest perception of self.  And in adhering to these principles of the nature of things, the self can function as a whole, stable, harmonized unit.  Treating the mind as separate, autonomous, independent of the whole self is like removing the elevator from the building in order to get to the penthouse floor.  the integrity / honesty of the purpose of the elevator is compromised and the whole has lost an integral piece to the intention of its function.  So without integrating the pieces into the whole in unification, the pieces nor the whole can honestly fulfill their intention of purpose, which may result in breaking rules to accomplish a task, taking short cuts and misuse.  so in order for a thing - anything - to maintain honest expression of itself, it must be a unified whole.   hmmmm....

commitment

commitment: what is with this word that some people feel so uncomfortable with?  I have been thinking a lot about it - in reference to many things: relationships, jobs, yoga practice, plans of any kind.  It seems that a lot of folks perceive of this concept of commitment as being woven in with the concept of time - another silly liquid idea.  There is a belief that once committed it is a life sentence (you know "till death do us part...")  I see the fear of this causing contemplation, analysis, doubt.  Can't commit until you're sure it is the correct course, the right choice, until all other options have been weighed and discarded - then drudgingly agonizingly approach the barred cell as if in committing you are being committed.  Then once done - it is done.  But in truth it is not done!  At least this is what I have sensed, so I had to look it up.  Never got anything referring to "forever".  committing is not something done once and then left to be.  It is not possible to commit to something like a yoga practice only once - have you tried this?  what happens?  the next time you have to wake up pre-dawn and get back on your mat you, if you don't re-vist the idea of commitment, if you don't recommit, well you won't make it out of bed.  Commitment is something that happens repeatedly, constantly even.  It is a process of asking your self "Can I once again give myself fully to this course in this moment?  then again, what about this moment?  and especially when something really hard comes up - can i recommit to this course of action now?"  Commiting to a relationship isn't something you do once - it is a giving of the self in trust to a another person.  Only a fool would do that once and never look again to be sure that this place of the heart's safe keeping is in fact still safe.  Instead I see it as a pledge to give oneself to an intention.  In the case of relationships, the intention to give effort, energy and attention to the relationship.  Actually the same to a yoga practice - a pledge to give of ones effort, energy, and attention to the intention of the practice.  Same to a job, vacation plans.  But that commitment again requires re-visiting.  If the plan was to vacation in Miami and a hurricane is planning to terrorize - commit to a new plan!  A hurricane does not suit the vacations intention so commitment to the root of the intention remains intact.  in relationships, the commitment may be to create a happy healthy fulfilling partnership, if the current pairing no longer satisfies the intention, re-vist the nature of the commitment.  If you have committed to a six day a week yoga practice and then came love and then came marriage and then came the baby carriage, or two or three - look again and discover the root of the intention of your commitment to the practice and recommit to a new path that fulfills it, honor the changes that are inevitable in life and allow commitment to be flexible and changeable and completable.  Allow commitment to be something that gives you wings rather than a ball and chain.

Mindfulness Meditation

Close your eyes - Begin to follow the breath

In through the nose
out through the nose -
long steady easy breaths

With your attention follow the path of the breath thru the body.  Allow the breath to be a link between the awareness of the mind and the sensations of the body.  Each breath drawing your awareness deeper inward.  Becoming aware of the sensations of the breath,

in through the nose
out through the nose.

becoming aware of the sensations of the body.  acknowledge any places of tension, soreness, fatigue, or resistance in the body, allowing softness to spread, release resistance with each exhale.
Settle into a space of observation, become the witness moving through the body as the breath moves through the body

In through the nose
out through the nose
long slow even breaths

The awareness deepening now, beyond the body, acknowledging the movements of the mind.  Still only an observer, notice the thoughts that arise, what is the dialogue?  It is the nature of the mind to move, to try to distract you, to get your attention.  Don't fight it, or resist it, or even try to ignore it.

Instead remain in the space of observer, remain detached, be the witness of the thoughts as they move in the background.  Watch them without getting lost in them.  become aware of the tendencies of your mind - what types of thoughts come up?  If you find yourself attached to a thought, acknowledge it, send it on its way and return to the breath .

In through the nose,
out through the nose
slow, open, easy breaths

Taking you deeper, beyond the body, beyond the mind to your emotional experience. Become aware of how you are feeling on an emotional level, your mood.  notice what is there - what comes up for you.  Maintain yourself as witness - stand at a distance and observe.

Acknowledge yourself as this observer, the witness that is not the body, not the mind, not even you emotions.

Who is feeling the sensations of the body?
who is having the thoughts?
who is experiencing emotion?

This is the center of the self - the true self - the unchanging self.

In through the nose,
out through the nose -
long steady free breaths.

btw: I'm going to india!

I just booked my flights to India (yesterday) for my third visit to practice at the home of the ashtanga yoga lineage in Mysore India.  Time to just be a student for a while - to be completely on input mode and absorb absorb absorb.  sighhh...  def looking forward to it. India is calling me!

Eat It #1: Summertime Warm Bean Salad

now I have reached culinary perfection - this is my best creation yet!  So I had to share:

Ingredients:
baby spinach
quinoa
butter or ghee
onion
garlic
tomato
soy sauce
chick peas (ready to eat- presoaked)
black beans (ready to eat)
cilantro
cucumber
flax seed oil

Begin with Quinoa Prep as directed (just like rice basically) about 1/4 - 1/3 cup per person

Saute in butter or ghee: chopped onion, until soft nearly transparent - add chopped tomato and minced garlic until soft and saucy, add a few tablespoon of say sauce to taste and to make more saucy - simmer

In dish / bowl layer: fresh baby spinach - quinoa - chick peas and beans - cilantro (to taste) - chopped cucumbers

Top with warm onion soy sauce and drizzle with flax seed oil to taste

Eat It!  Enjoy!

frickin' healthy heaven!

evolve

we are often so much more capable than we think we are.  i see it in class all the time.  sometimes it is a posture the student has never done, they enter timidly, cautiously looking around to the others to see if they are doing it right, and then they simply settle in.  usually it only takes a verbal encouragement or a guiding touch which both really contain the key element which is an energetic transference of knowing what is possible.  then they are in, much further than they imagined themselves capable of.  sometimes it is something they are in familiar with, something they have been practicing for a while and they return always to the same place, the place that was their deepest experience when they began.  not realizing they themselves have changed and the pose now is accessible.  this is a beautiful gift of the ashtanga practice.  the practice itself does not change, so we have the opportunity to measure our growth against the constancy of the method.  we must always remember that we will only go as far as we venture, constantly push the limit of what you think you know.  on and off the mat.  we are seekers by nature - so seek within, go deeper.  don't assume to know yourself or that the self won't change.  every day, every posture, every relationship, every breath ask yourself if you can do more, do differently, learn something, evolve. 

when the world disappears

Was teaching today, a mysore self-practice class and I noticed a student that seemed completely distracted, throughout their practice.  I saw them sitting still on their mat more than once, eyes with an unfocused gaze looking into space about three feet in front of them.  Checked in once or twice, but the same distracted energy persisted.  When it came to backbends, drop back halfway one, two three all the way back walk in.  I took the student to their ankles - 5 breathes.  when they returned to standing "Woah! everything else disappeared!"   YES!  this is yoga!  this is a way that the asana practice can remove the debris of the personality.  whatever distracts you - thought, sensation, emotion - in one moment in a posture where the mind is suddenly and almost forcibly directed to a single point, the rest of the world disappears.  in this tiny moment we experience complete presence and awareness.  This is also something that probably won't happen without the guidance of an instructor.  Alone, we have a tendency to surrender to...well...our tendencies.  But once experienced a new world of possibilities is revealed - a world in vacume where the true self sits silently and still in padmasana.  This is why we do this practice

Acts of Helplessness - Rumi

here are the miracle signs you want: that
you cry through the night and get up at dawn, asking,
that in the absence of what you ask for your days get dark,
yuor neck thin as a spindle, that what you give away
is all you own, that you sacrifice belongings,
sleep health, you rhead, that you often
sit down in a fire like aloes wood, and often go out
to meet a blade like a battered helmet.

when acts of helplessness become habitual,
those are the signs.

but you run back and forth listening for unusual events,
peering into the faces of travelers.
"why are you looking at me like a madman?"
i have lost a friend.  please forgive me

searching like that does not fail.
there will come a rider who holds you close.
you faint and gibber.  the uninitiated say, "he's faking."
how could they know?
water washes over a beached fish, the water
of those signs i just mentioned.
excuse my wandering.
how can one be orderly with this?it's like counting leaves in the garden,
along with the song-notes of partridges,and crows.
            sometimes organization
and computation become absurd.

MLC

It’s 6 am in Miami’s South Beach.  The sun slowly rising over the oceanic horizon, illuminating the waves and sand dunes.  On Washington Ave where the sun rays don’t yet reach, club-goers are slowly making their way home, or back to the temporary homes of their hotel rooms.  Many still roaming the streets in search of pizza, in search of an early morning companion, or in search of a cab.  For them, the revelry has wound down, a night in South Beach has come to an end.  In the midst of this scene you may catch an unexpected sight, another creature all together.  You may come across the South Beach Ashtanga Yogi toting a yoga mat, on their way to begin their day with the rising sun at Miami Life Center.
    Miami Life Center is a haven of health and wellness set within the sometimes chaotic social whirl of South Beach Miami.  In a city that is known for its celebrities, hot clubs, and shopping, Miami Life Center offers a yoga and holistic health experience steeped in tradition with some of the best trained instructors in the country, a diversified group of students that reflects Miami’s many visitors, and an environment of peace, focus and discipline.  It is the love child of Kino MacGregor and her husband Tim Feldmann. 
    A Miami native herself, Kino is one of very few Ashtanga Yoga instructors certified by Shri K. Pattabhi Jois, late Guru to the Ashtanga Yoga tradition, and the youngest female to have so far been given that honor.  Within the worldwide Ashtanga community Kino is a bit of a celebrity, known for her incredible flexibility and powerful strength.  She has an amazing ability to inspire growth, commitment, and joy in her students.  Kino and Tim decided as they built their yoga shala to invite only the most qualified instructors to teach at MLC.  Their standards and expectations include experience and training as well as an innate ability to inspire.  They set out to create a space that doesn’t just teach postures but actually changes lives.  While MLC is primarily an Ashtanga Yoga shala with three Mysore self-practice programs and guided Ashtanga classes throughout the day, the schedule of classes includes Iyengar and Jivamukti that, like Ashtanga, honor tradition and authenticity but offer diversity to the many students that make their way through the doors.
    Miami Life Center has cultivated a community of very disciplined local students.  You have to be a certain type of yogi to awake before the sun to practice two hours on your mat before work, six days a week, as is the Ashtanga way.  Each of the three Mysore self-practice programs are saturated with committed regulars, people who have chosen yoga as a way of life.  While MLC’s core student base is comprised of this unique sort, it is also a yoga traveler’s dream.  The beautiful beaches and wild nightlife of Miami Beach draw vacationers from all parts of the globe, and Miami Life Center welcomes them all.  MLC has developed a reputation that attracts students from as far away as Sweden, Brazil, and Japan, many coming to South Beach just to practice with Kino, Tim, and the staff.  Of course, you will also find local models, professional athletes, and the occasional A-list celebrity maintaining their camera ready or court ready physiques, it is Miami after all.
    Beyond yoga asana, Miami Life Center hopes to enrich every aspect of your life with a staff of experts in Life Coaching, Nutritional Counseling, Reiki, Pranic Crystal Healing, and Sangha Meditation.  With so much powerful positive intention the space is bound to become infused and it is felt the moment you pass through the doors.  A sense of peace and well-being pervades, as you are lulled by the atmospheric music and incense as well as the simple and soothing decor, interspersed with Indian artwork and photos of sages and gurus.  Comfy couches, healthy snacks and nearly a library full of inspirational books welcome you to stay a while, enjoy your time, chat with the instructor, or introduce yourself to that NBA player who just finished class. 
          The practice of yoga is gaining popularity everywhere and hard partying Miami Beach is no exception.  Whatever lures a visitor to the sandy shores, there is a sanctuary of inspiration, health, and personal growth at Miami Life Center.  Sweat out that hangover from the night before, go to the beach and feel good about yourself, ready for another night on the town.  Now that is a pretty balanced life.

Depth of Time

Tick-Tock.  The sound of a clock marking the passage of time.  In our culture we schedule our days according to the hours and plot our lives along the pages of a calendar.  Even within the yoga practice when we are asked to “Be Present!” and focus on the right here right now, we are aware of time. Counting our breathes we see another student moving effortlessly through some incredible posture.  We wonder how long it will be until we are capable of that.  Or maybe we fear that we are already too old and don't have enough time to develop those postures.  In this world where everything is moving so quickly, give yourself the gift of slowing down.  At least in yoga, don’t hurry!
    Rather than looking at this practice only as some track that progresses forward in time like a two hour class or a six day a week practice, realize that there is also a path that moves inward, spiraling into depths of the NOW space.  When you choose to slow down or perhaps by injury or some physical resistance you are forced to, you have the opportunity to explore your practice on new levels. It is easy to become attracted to the forward progression of a yoga practice when flying through a vinyasa sequence one pose to the next or trying to accomplish some difficult bind.  It is natural.  We want to be able to do it all and we rush our bodies towards it.  Inspiration is an essential element of the yoga practice but what is the hurry?  Most often we are looking for some way to measure our progress.  We are looking at how long it takes to become adept at a challenging pose or how long we can remain in that posture, at the same time already thinking about what comes next.  In looking forward to what is currently beyond our reach we miss the potentials available in exploring the depths of the moment we are currently in. 
    When we first discover a yoga posture we learn how to place the physical body.  This leg goes here, the arm over there and I look this way, etc.  As we settle into that form the attention moves to the subtler layers of muscular awareness.  We learn where we can release and what needs to remain active, where we lengthen and where we draw in.  Layer by layer we dig deeper beyond the physical sensations toward the energetic ones.  We become aware of prana, life force energy moving through the channels we have opened by placing our body in this certain way.  This energetic experience is a yoga that we would miss if we were rushing through.
    Each of us has our own internal rhythm and tempo.  We are drawn to different methods of yoga sometimes based on this internal timing and how it urges us to move our bodies.  While still honoring your own personal clock, try to find a drawing out of each present moment.  The breath not only moves you forward but every inhale draws you inward.  If you find yourself speeding through your sun salutes, lengthen the breath and slow down.  Experience each moment as you move through it.  Allow yourself to really be in your chaturanga dandasana. Feel that exhale spreading out and expanding time so that you can have the space to explore the depths of that experience before moving through into upward facing dog.  Like controlling a movie with the remote control, putting it into slow motion so that you can see every element of a scene, the actors expressions as well as the background details.  Bring that element of discovery to each breath and see every aspect of what is happening to your body, your mind and the sensations of how energy is moving through you.  Rather than just hitting the main markers along the road, fill out the scenery and see everything. 
    As you explore the yoga practice as a landscape you will find less urge to rush forward.  The forward will reveal itself to you along its own time line, learning new postures and progressing organically.  You will be less focused ahead of you as you will become present in the richness of the moment.  When you discover this depth available in the yoga practice you can realize that it is present out there as well, in the world beyond the mat.  In your jobs or relationships, wherever you give your attention and energy, slow down, fill out the scenery, look at the details and explore its textures.  The future will come, that is an inevitability.  Extend your breath and experience the depth of time as well as its length.

Yoga Practice in Mysore, India

    Why do we practice yoga?  We may have come to the practice for a myriad of reasons, each of us with different intentions.  But at some point, when you’ve practiced long enough and with consistancy, you realize that the practice of yoga is about going inward and learning about the Self.  Who am I?  That is the question, and yoga has the answer.   Within the experiences of the body we come to our first road blocks, our first obstructions and learn that these can be overcome.  Yoga shows us our habits, over and over again, until we learn new methods, retraining our bodies and developing a deeper awareness of how the body moves.  While recently spending a month in India, I realized that India herself offers the same lessons.  She shows you to yourself, without sugar-coating or perfume.  Any patterns or habits become clear and unavoidable giving you the opportunity to react differently and to learn something. 
    Our ego, only a distraction, though a strong one, is a way of identifying ourselves with things outside of the Self.  The true Self is beyond labels or competition, it is present only in the moment of the experience.  Doing an asana practice, we learn that we have the strength and awareness to work through physical pain and resistance.  Through consistent asana practice over a long period of time we work from places of tension and stiffness or weakness and fatigue to places of freedom and release, to strength and stability.  As we overcome the obstacles of asana, we learn that the negative voice of ego resistance can be silenced or at least turned down significantly, and we can keep moving.  The way we look at our bodies and our practice begins to change without our even trying.  No matter the pose we are working on or our abilities regarding that pose, the real lessons are about how we react to the challenge.   
    In the same way, spending time in India has been for me a magnifying glass, putting into glaring perspective my tendencies.  Mysore, India is home to Ashtanga yoga and Guruji, Sri K. Pattabhi Jois.  It is the base of operations, the heart and soul of the Ashtanga practice and a location of pilgrimage for those that practice the method.  Mysore is a place apart from the real world.  As a yoga student preparing and planing for practice in Mysore, you detach and isolate yourself from your life.  Leaving behind your job, family, obligations, routines and schedules, you land in this community where the only thing you have to do, the only thing you are responsible for is your yoga.  In a culture so different from what we know here in the west, the only thing you know that has any familiarity is yourself, or at least who you know yourself to be. 
    Like being on your yoga mat, while in Mysore, India, you are given the freedom to be completely self-focused and directed inward.  When the only thing you have to do each day is get up and practice, the rest of your time becomes an opportunity to do only that which you choose to do.  You learn about how much time you need alone to feel comfortable socializing with people you hardly know.  You learn of your tolerance, acceptance and compassion for anything different from what you are familiar with just by walking to breakfast or going to the nearby chai stand.    You begin to see the patterns of what you are drawn to.  Where does your pleasure and your inspiration lie?  When you have complete freedom, what do you choose to do?  And most importantly, what does this tell you about who you are?  If you find you are making choices out of some sense of obligation this becomes crystal clear as well.  There is no boss watching over you, no parent or spouse, no child to create a model for, no one to judge you but yourself.  So what do you value?  What behavior feels right?  And what behavior that feels wrong do you choose to do anyway?  Then you ask yourself why.
    With no one having expectations of who you are beyond your presence and earnestness on the mat, there is freedom to do differently, whatever that is.  You learn what you expect of yourself and you learn compassion.  Just as the truth of your bind in Marichyasana D is not something you can fake, also the truth of who you are in the world is not easy to fake when presented with the conditions of Mysore.  There is no hiding.  Negative or unhealthy patterns become obvious as well as those you simply no longer need.  Now you are faced with the choice to change or not.   Our thoughts extend into new worlds of possibility and we accept the challenges that come our way as opportunities for growth.
    If the ego identifies, falsely, by the way, with things outside of the Self, to what does it attach when you are alone in a foreign land focusing on your yoga?  Where does the ego try to find its strength when it is cast adrift?  Without the patterns and habits for the ego to fall back on, you are able to identify with what is more immediate to your experience and to what is more proximal to your center.  When you can release the world of the familiar where your attachments breed expectation and judgement, whether by stepping onto your mat or by traveling across the planet to Mysore, India, you can find the truth of who you are.  You identify with what is more true to the purest Self.  That is a gift of this practice and a gift of going to Mysore, to Guruji, and to the source of Ashtanga yoga.

Unfold Your Own Myth - Rumi

who gets up early to discover the moment light begins?
who finds us here circling, bewildered, like atoms?
who comes to a spring thirsty
and sees the moon reflected in it?
who, like jacob blind with grief and age,
smells the shirt of his lost son
and can see again?
who lets a bucket down and brings up
a flowing prophet?  or like moses goes for fire
and finds what burns inside the sunrise?

jesus slips into a house to escape enemies,
and opens a door to the other world.
solomon cuts open a fish, and there's a gold ring.
omar storms in to kill the prophet
and leaves with blessings.
chase a deer and end up everywhere!
an oyster opens his mouth to swallow one drop.
now there's a pearl.
a vagrant wanders empty ruins.
suddenly he's wealthy.

but don't be satisfied with stories, how things
have gone with others.  unfold
your own myth, without complicated explanation,
so everyone will understand the passage,
we have opened you.

start walking toward shams.  your legs will get heavy
and tired.  then comes a moment
of feeling the wings you've grown,
lifting.