My Story
Each of us has a story. Many of you have probably read my bio: the highlights of my journey to this yoga teacher platform I find myself on. But of course there is more to the story. I always say that at the time I was walking it, my path seemed like a confusing zig-zag of changing directions, dropped threads, and aimless wandering. In retrospect, I see a trajectory of purpose - a clearly projected direction, if not exactly a straight line.
From little on, I remember that I experienced my world through the physical. I moved. I loved to move! My moods were expressed in movement, my humor, my interests. I absorbed information through physical interaction. Not necessarily an observer or a contemplator, I was a doer. This became more intentional, more structured, more purposeful when I began to study dance. Into adulthood and professional dance, including college studies, choreography, performance, I explored how movement expressed reality, spirituality, and individuality. Through dance, I became aware of commonalities of the human experience. We all have bodies! Our bodies can’t NOT express. Isn’t that amazing! Even the effort to take expression out of our form and movement expresses something to our souls. The human self is not neutral - it CAN’T be. It is the physical manifestation of life itself!
As a dancer I used to say that I felt the most myself while I was dancing. All facade, all labels, all constructs fell away while moving freely from some inner space of knowing and inspiration. When I began to practice yoga asana, that exploration of self found method. A movement method intended for self-discovery! Amazing! What I was getting glimpses of while dancing was the whole purpose of this movement practice. A journey of the self, through the self, to the self.
While first being introduced to yoga through dance (some teachers used it as warm up) it was a heart devastating break-up and a best friend that would not let me wallow in tears that brought me to an earnest yoga practice. We started with Bikram, sweating out the previous night’s chemical toxins and poisons of youthfully poor choices. But it was when she took me to my first Ashtanga practice that I heard the angels sing “Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!” I was home. I know that sounds dramatic but that is what it felt like. Like finally I found the thing my body and soul were searching for. The dynamics of Ashtanga spoke to the dancer in me. The structure and discipline spoke to the Capricorn in me. (Don’t get me wrong - discipline is haaaaaard for me, but I crave it! I thrive in it, when I can surrender to it) It wasn’t long until I knew without a doubt, that I wanted to teach - that I was supposed to teach.
I did my teacher training with Paul Dallaghan in Thailand. It was intense! I remember after the first week or so, during a check-in meeting with him I said, through tears, that I didn’t think I could do it, that I wasn’t ready, that I was out of my league. He assured me that I could, that I was, and encouraged me to just keep going. I completed that course and didn’t realize until years later, when I first travelled to Mysore, India - the home and heart of the Ashtanga practice - how valuable that experience was. It was so strong and complete in establishing a solid foundation to a life-time practice. I returned from Thailand to Chicago where for four years I balanced waitressing, teaching, solo home practice of primary series (yes, I did only primary series for four years - there is no hurry!) and a partying lifestyle. I was in my 20’s - it was right, for me.
As I approached 30, I took stock of my life and realized I was ready for more. More fulfillment, more depth, more work, more yoga, more self. So I quit my job, got rid of most of my stuff, put the rest in storage and went to India. I didn’t know where it would lead but I told myself “I will figure it out in India”. After my first practice, while standing outside the shala, floating on a cloud of post-practice awe, I met my future.
During those 4 years of self-practice, two of my most significant teachers recommended that I practice with Kino MacGregor. They told me that my body type (flexy, not strong) would benefit from her instruction. Great! But she was a traveling teacher and I was not really a traveling student. But there I was in India, drinking a coconut, talking with a woman that I learned she was Kino when someone called her name. (This was pre-social media, I had no idea what she looked like) “You are Kino! I’m supposed to practice with you!” I blurted out. She told me she was opening a yoga shala in Miami Beach and invited me to attend a weekend workshop she would be teaching in a few months. By the time I left Mysore two months later, I had not only registered for the workshop, but had decided to move to Miami and convinced Kino to give me a chance as a teacher at Miami Life Center. I had figured it out.
Miami felt like a rebirth for me - a new life, certainly a new lifestyle. I realize it may sound funny, but I went to Miami Beach, a party mecca, and began a cleaner, more spiritual path. Kino became my teacher (beyond the relationship I had begun to form with Guruji, Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, and his grandson, Sharath, the current head of the lineage). Along with guidance from Tim Feldmann and Greg Nardi, my yoga found a new depth, my practice more sincere, more focused and transformation was available. The three of them were teachers and mentors to me for five years and also became my friends. I still consider Kino to be my primary teacher (aside from Sharath) and even though I no longer practice with her daily, she is still there for me to lean on, ask questions, seek guidance. I still too reach out to Tim and Greg - and they are there. While teaching at MLC I developed sincere friendships with other teachers, including Alexandra, Patrick, Emilia and others. There is a bond that is created when you share this journey, supporting each other as students, witnessing each other’s growth as teachers, sharing life moments like parenting. Miami Life Center will always feel like a home base for me. The teachers and students that come from there and are still there, I feel some unbreakable connection to. It is a part of my personal lineage, the line of Parumpara that I come from, and I am forever grateful for those experiences, those teachings, those relationships.
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