Practicing for Two

    I practice Ashtanga yoga and I’m pregnant.  It sounds like a confession, I know, but I didn’t realize how many very strong and differing opinions come flying at you within the yoga community when it becomes known you are carrying a little one in your belly.  Of course most are well meaning and joyously offered, others - not so much.  What I can say for sure, from my experiences as a teacher and now being pregnant myself, every expecting mother is different.  You will find that one piece of advice has an equal and opposite.  The variations abound, among doctors, mothers, yogis and midwives, not to mention, who really need not be mentioned, all others who fall into none of the above mentioned categories.  My intention here is not to offer advice but I will say this one thing in that vein, become informed and trust your instincts.  Know what is happening in your body and your baby’s and use the tools that yoga has already been providing you with, mindfulness and the art of self-study.
    My true intention here is only to share my experiences so far.  As I mentioned, I practice Ashtanga, a method that many consider to be extremely physically challenging and dynamic.  And many warn against practicing during pregnancy, claiming it is too aggressive.  While I would definitely not recommend beginning an ashtanga practice during pregnancy, it is a practice I have done for many years and felt secure continuing from the very beginning of the pregnancy.  Of course, the baby had other ideas, but I get ahead of myself.  First of all, pre-pregnancy I had been working through third series, a very intense practice.  And the week before I actually knew I was pregnant I attended a one week workshop in which I practiced my full 2 1/2 hour practice.  Full second series into third, including tic tocs, for those that are familiar.  And I felt great!  My practice continued to feel great as I learned that something amazing was happening within.
    The first interference I noticed was in twisting poses.  Almost immediately, these were uncomfortable.  I honored that awareness and began modifying, first by twisting less intensely, then by twisting only into open space, avoiding compression of the abdomen.  Postures like mayurasana, where the body balances the abdomen over the elbows, were eliminated immediately as were posses that caused a jarring to the body, like nakrasana, which I exchanged for push-ups, so I didn’t really get to escape this challenging strength building posture.  I also began to do my tic tocs with assistance so that there were no hard landings.  Back bending felt amazing and still does at nearly 4 months.  I also noticed quite soon that the breath and heart were labored and seemed to be working really really hard.  To accommodate these changes, which are related to the increase in blood volume and the relaxation of muscle tissues, I would take frequent rests.  Then, at about 7 weeks, the nausea hit and hit hard.  I was almost completely out of commission for almost two months.  I gave it a go many times, hoping that the movement of prana would help alleviate the causes of the rolling stomach.  Um, didn’t work.  At all.  All the ups and downs of sun salutations only made it worse and I was lucky to get through a 15 minute practice.  I accepted it, or at least accepted that I had to work on acceptance.  I would have random good days where I was able to get past the standing practice and on those days I rejoiced.  It was only a couple of weeks ago that the good days began to arrive more frequently and my practice gained a little momentum.
    So far, post nausea, primary series is uncomfortable.  Forward folding, not so pleasant as I just don’t feel any room.  My forward folds are pretty deep, so I am accustomed to the pleasure of simply lying over my legs.  The pregnancy has changed that experience, so I give the majority of my attention to second series, which has been feeling fantastic.  Of course, every day, at this stage, my body is different and everyday another posture drifts out of reach.  Pasasna was the first to go, aside from the previously mentioned mayurasana and nakrasana,  exchanged in favor of a wide-leg squat where I bind around one leg and twist.  The backbends of second performed on the belly had to be adjusted for a while by shifting weight into the pelvis and away from the abdomen.  Now however, even that is unavailable and I do the best I can imitating the postures while on hands and knees, sort of cat cow with one leg raising at a time accompanied by back arching.  It’s working, I think.  The rest of the backbends are fantastic.  Leg behind head postures feel great though I take much longer to get in to assure length along the front of my body and work more deeply into the hips, good for me anyway.  Some binds are no longer available as I thicken nearly everywhere, not just the belly, and resting is still important to allow the heart to calm and the breath to deepen.
    It is an amazing process, learning how to adjust the practice so drastically in such a short amount of time.  It is teaching me about the need for a flexible mind and flexible expectations.  It is teaching me about my own ego reactions and what I tend to get caught up on.  For me, who has worked with their body nearly life long, through dance and yoga, who feels their world and expresses themselves in very physical ways, it is a fascinating challenge to allow these daily changes that I have no control over.  It actually has nearly nothing to do with me.  My body is owned and operated by this baby and that means that the yoga practice belongs to the baby too.  I am learning to joyously release the reins and allow nature and this little blessing to guide me.